Why play matters: How unstructured fun helps kids grow, cope and thrive

For many families, packed schedules, homework and ever-present screens can make free play feel like an “extra” rather than a necessity.

But experts say play isn’t wasting time – it’s one of the most important ways children learn, process emotions and build resilience.

According to Sara Loftin, LPC-S, RPT-S, Clinical Therapist at Children's Health℠, play is essential to healthy development.

“Play is children’s natural language,” Loftin explains. “The same way adults talk with words, children use the language of play. Play is actually the foundation for learning, emotional growth, creativity and resilience.”

Related podcast
Learn more about why play matters for kids by listening to this episode of Children’s Health Checkup podcast.

The benefits of free play

Research shows that play supports children in several ways that academic or more structured activities do not. These benefits include:

• Cognitive benefits. Play boosts creativity, flexible thinking, problem-solving and learning. Kids’ brains actually function better when they’ve had enough time to play.

• Social benefits. Play helps children practice social skills, cooperation, empathy and the give-and-take of healthy friendships. It also builds confidence as kids try new things, solve problems and learn new skills.

• Physical benefits. Active play helps build strong muscles and bones, improve balance and coordination, boost energy levels and supports better sleep and healthy weight.

• Emotional benefits. Play helps children relieve stress, regulate emotions, bond with others, express their individuality and build self-esteem and coping skills. Kids often work through difficult or confusing experiences through play – much like adults process emotions by talking things through.

A few examples of how free play helps children include

• A child attends a funeral. Afterwards, they reenact aspects of that experience in their play for weeks. Play helps them make sense of what’s happened and emotionally heal.

• A child is struggling to learn to read at school. And when they come home, they paint a picture they feel really proud of. This helps them fill their “power cup” and build their self-esteem.

How much play do kids need?

Play is most beneficial when kids have opportunities for it throughout the day because it really is the way that kids communicate best. But if parents are looking for a number to aim for, a good goal is 1 to 2 hours of unstructured free play a day.

Many parents feel some pressure to keep kids constantly busy with lessons, sports and activities. But too much structure and overinvolved parenting can leave little room for the creativity, independence and confidence kids build through free play.

The types of play that matter most

Unstructured free play

Unstructured, self-directed free play is the most important type of play.

This type of play offers space for children to experiment, negotiate and imagine without adult direction.

Risky play

Risky play – like climbing, balancing or testing physical limits – and rough-and-tumble play like playful wrestling are also healthy and beneficial. These types of play help kids learn to manage fear, build physical confidence and develop social boundaries with peers.

“By climbing the highest structure on a playground, or going down a slide backwards, kids are actually self-dosing fear and growing their tolerance for anxiety,” says Loftin. “Research shows that adults who didn’t have as much risky play as kids are often more anxious as adults.”

Imaginative or fantasy play

Imaginative or fantasy play is also very important.

By pretending to be a parent, doctor or superhero, kids can:

• Practice empathy and process emotional experiences.

• Gain a sense of control and develop coping skills.

• Build language and storytelling skills.

Helping kids step away from screens

With older kids averaging 7 or 8 hours a day on screens, encouraging play can be challenging. For many families, screens have become the default downtime activity – especially for older kids and teens.

“Older kids often will simply not choose a non-screen activity on their own,” Loftin cautions.

So it may be up to parents and caregivers to set screen time limits and help create screen-free fun – so teens don’t automatically reach for a device during downtime.

How parents can prioritize play at home

It’s important for parents and caregivers to rethink play – not as downtime, but as “developmental fuel.”

To do that, you might try to:

• Start a neighborhood “free-play” group.

• Designate one day of the weekend to be screen-free.

• Hold family game nights where kids take turns making up the rules.

• Delay smartphones and social media when possible.

• Model play and creativity for other kids – and as adults.

Small moments of silliness and playfulness with our kids are often missing in our daily life and can lift everyone’s spirits and help kids feel more seen and connected.

Above all, parents need to remember that play isn’t wasted time – it’s an essential part of developing as a human.

“We actually need to prioritize play because it helps our children’s brains develop and we are wired for it,” Loftin says.

Learn more

Children's Health is committed to helping kids thrive – physically, socially and emotionally. We offer play therapy for kids coping with chronic illness, child-parent relationship training classes and comprehensive mental health support for kids of all ages. Learn more about our programs to support mental, emotional and behavioral health.

You can also access emotional care and support from the comfort of your home. With a behavioral health care appointment, you can speak to a board-certified psychiatrist or licensed therapist through video technology. Learn more about Virtual Visit Behavioral Health.